Keeping Calm When Your Newborn Won’t Sleep
Sometimes, it may feel like the biggest disappointment of your day to have to put your baby down to sleep — they are so lovable and sweet you want to spend every second with them. But for those times when you know your little one needs their rest and they just won’t fall asleep, it can be worrisome and stressful. In those moments, while you run through the checklist of reasons why they may not be settling down easily, it’s important to stay calm. Your baby will fall asleep. And then perhaps, you can too. Here’s how to stay calm even when your newborn won’t sleep.
What To Do When Your Newborn Won’t Sleep
Run through the “ok” checklist
Ask yourself:
- Does your bub need a diaper change?
- Have they been fed recently, according to their usual routine?
- Are there any clothing seams or tags or snaps that might be irritating them?
- Do they have a fever or rash?
Once you establish that there is no emergency need or problem to fix—your baby appears safe and healthy—you can take a deep breath and move onto deeper troubleshooting.
Adjust accordingly
Do a quick assessment of their sleep routine and environment. Is this baby’s normal bedtime? Are they being put to sleep in their usual bassinet or crib? Is it noisier or brighter than usual? Any changes can contribute to a baby not settling down. Don’t feel guilty—instead, see if you can adjust the environment so that your baby is more comfortable. If it’s too early for their bedtime, they might take a bit longer to settle down, so give them extra time. If it’s too late, accept that there’s nothing you can do about it now, but remind yourself they’re tired and will fall asleep.
Change up your soothing technique
If your usual quiet snuggle in the rocker chair doesn’t seem to be working, try gently bouncing or patting the baby as you walk around the room, re-swaddle them, sing soft lullabies, or do a gentle baby massage. This action does double duty of soothing your own frayed nerves, too.
Don’t cave under stress
When parents are desperate to get their baby to sleep, they may resort to sleep routines they’d never do at other times: Bringing baby into your own bed, or watching TV with the baby, or letting them fall asleep completely in your arms before putting them down. Even if these strategies work right now, they may have the opposite effect that you intend—and your baby may come to expect this new sleep ritual before every nap and nighttime.
Bring in reinforcement
If you’re the parent who’s typically on bedtime duty and you’re feeling overwhelmed by the task, ask for help. Your partner can relieve you for 10 minutes (so you can take some deep breaths, have a cup of tea, do a quick yoga stretch—whatever will ease the stress you’re feeling), or help make the baby’s sleep environment more conducive to rest, or even take over completely so you can get some rest. If there isn’t another adult in the house and your stress level is climbing, call or text a friend or family member to offer emotional support or even come over to assist.
Give them time
It’s so hard to ignore when your baby is fussing or crying in their bed—your first instinct might be to run in and rectify the situation. But just as it takes a little time for you to fall asleep (some nights more than others), your baby won’t fall asleep instantaneously either. As long as you’ve checked that they are safe (with no curious leg sticking out of a crib, for example), healthy (no fever or signs of illness), and dry, give your baby time to fall asleep on their own.
