Keeping Calm When Your Newborn Won’t Sleep
It’s a cliche because it’s true: Just when you are at your most exhausted, your newborn won’t sleep. Here’s how to cope so you can both rest easy.
Sometimes, it may feel like the biggest disappointment of your day to put your baby down to sleep—they are so lovable and sweet you want to spend every second with them. But for those times when your little one needs their rest and just won’t fall asleep, it can be stressful. In those moments, while you run through the checklist of reasons why they may not be settling down, it’s important to stay calm. Your baby will fall asleep. And then perhaps, you can too.
What to Do When Your Newborn Won’t Sleep
Run through the “ok” checklist
Ask yourself:
- Does your bub need a diaper change?
- Have they been fed recently, according to their usual routine?
- Are there any clothing seams, tags, or snaps that might be irritating them?
- Do they have a fever or rash?
Once you establish that there is no emergency need or problem to fix—your baby appears safe and healthy—you can take a deep breath and move onto deeper troubleshooting.
Adjust accordingly
Do a quick assessment of their sleep routine and environment. Is this baby’s normal bedtime? Are they being put to sleep in their usual bassinet or crib? Is it noisier or brighter than usual? Any changes can contribute to a baby not settling down. Don’t feel guilty—instead, see if you can adjust the environment so your baby is more comfortable. If it’s too early for their bedtime, they might take a bit longer to settle down. If it’s too late, accept that there’s nothing you can do about it now, but remind yourself they’re tired and will fall asleep.
Change up your soothing technique
If your usual quiet snuggle in the rocker chair doesn’t work, try gently bouncing or patting the baby as you walk around the room, re-swaddle them, sing soft lullabies, or do a gentle baby massage. This also helps calm your own nerves.
Don’t cave under stress
When parents are desperate to get their baby to sleep, they may resort to routines they’d normally avoid: bringing the baby into your bed, watching TV with them, or letting them fall asleep completely in your arms before putting them down. Even if these work temporarily, they may create long-term habits your baby comes to expect before every nap or night.
Bring in reinforcement
If you’re the parent usually on bedtime duty and feel overwhelmed, ask for help. Your partner can relieve you for a few minutes to breathe, stretch, or enjoy a cup of tea, help optimize the baby’s sleep environment, or even take over entirely. If there isn’t another adult at home and stress is climbing, call a friend or family member for emotional support or in-person help.
Give them time
It’s hard to ignore when your baby fusses or cries—but just as it takes time for you to fall asleep, your baby won’t fall asleep instantly either. As long as they are safe, healthy, and dry, give your baby time to settle on their own.
Distract yourself
While waiting for your baby to fall asleep, try self-soothing techniques: massage your temples, hands, or feet; wrap yourself in a cozy blanket; enjoy a warm beverage; practice 4-7-8 breathing; visualize the near future when your baby will sleep soundly, and take pride that you made it through this stage calmly.
Final Thoughts
Newborn sleep can feel unpredictable and exhausting, but keeping calm helps both you and your baby. At Aussie Bubs, we understand the challenges parents face in these early months, and our expertise is here to guide you with practical tips to nurture both your little one’s sleep and your own peace of mind.
