My Feeding Journey: “I finally realized I needed to trust my mom intuition”
One mom shares her struggles with breastfeeding—and the emotional and physical tools she used to overcome them.
By Chrissy Horton
Right now I’m in my third trimester, pregnant with my sixth child. It’s a girl—and when she’s born, my husband and I will have six kids ages 8 and under. And nope, no multiples! I plan to exclusively breastfeed her, which was my plan with all my children. But if there’s anything my feeding journey has taught me, it’s that a mom needs to be prepared for anything, and prioritize her baby first and foremost.
A Rough Start
With my first baby, breastfeeding was mentally hard. My husband has always been supportive, but part of me resented that because I was exclusively breastfeeding my newborn—he couldn’t help with nighttime feedings. I was adamant about not supplementing at all, but that took its toll on me as a first-time mom.
I had prepared for sleepless nights, but nothing—not books, not advice—could prepare me for the sleep deprivation. I hated saying it, but I hated breastfeeding. I’d had a hard birth, couldn’t sleep, and was doing everything by the book, waking my son every two hours to feed. I remember thinking, “I know this is best for my baby, but this is really hard.”
Still, by week five everything started flowing. Once we were in a rhythm, I appreciated how easy it was to breastfeed both at home in the middle of the night or while away from home.
Trusting Your Instincts
Looking back, I think I got a lot of misinformation as a first-time mom. I was pumping because I had seen social media posts of moms with freezers full of milk. I thought I needed that too! I was breastfeeding and pumping simultaneously, which led to overproduction and mastitis. Eventually, a friend and IBCLC told me that if I was exclusively breastfeeding, I didn’t need a freezer full of milk.
With subsequent children, I learned what works for me: pumping in the first few weeks after birth using a wireless suction breast pump—one breast feeds the baby while the other is pumped. The pumped milk becomes a backup for rare moments when I’m away. Once I have two trays filled in the freezer, I’m done. Other moms shouldn’t stress—if you’re breastfeeding and bringing your baby everywhere, you likely don’t need a freezer full of milk.
Finding Power in Flexibility
With each baby, I explored all options to keep both my baby nourished and myself healthy. One helpful tool was a supplemental nursing system (SNS), which allows you to supplement breast milk or formula while the baby is at the breast:
- Fill a syringe with milk or formula.
- Run a thin tube into the baby’s mouth while they suckle.
- Push on the syringe so they get your milk plus the supplement.
This helped me establish breastfeeding while ensuring my baby received enough nutrition.
With baby number four, exhaustion hit hard. He was cluster feeding every 20 minutes. My husband suggested giving formula, and I agreed. Even during formula feeding, I make sure babies are on the breast when possible, using the SNS. This helps the baby get used to breastfeeding, signals my body to produce milk, and transfers antibodies through saliva.
Empowering Other New Moms
I’m passionate about breastfeeding but don’t believe it has to be all or nothing. Formula shaming frustrates me—every mom’s journey is different. There’s a reason formula exists, and we are fortunate to have options.
My advice: “Block out the noise.” Listen to your intuition. Social media is useful, but imagine raising your babies in the ’90s—you’d have fewer voices in your head. If someone criticizes your feeding choices, you can say, “Why don’t you come over at 2 a.m. and we can talk about it then?”
My grandmother had seven kids in seven years, no twins, and always said: “You should never feel judged when doing what’s best for your baby.” She’s right. My feeding journey was difficult, but it became easier once I trusted my biological intuition and listened to my own voice.
